


Café Chaos

by yamatsukkei



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Banter, Fluff, M/M, just boys being dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-23
Updated: 2020-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22383022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamatsukkei/pseuds/yamatsukkei
Summary: Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Matsukawa, and Hanamaki planned a double date at a café. Of course, knowing how the four of them operate, would it go smoothly?Here's a spoiler: Of course not.
Relationships: Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 75





	Café Chaos

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BokutosBabysitter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BokutosBabysitter/gifts).



Hanamaki knew Oikawa was as fashionably late a person as he could be, but when only Matsukawa and Iwaizumi entered his field of vision, he didn't think he'd have to say it.

"Where's Oikawa?"

A resigned huff answered him, and breaths of frosty air mingled around the three of them as they walked up to each other to huddle underneath the awning of the café they promised to meet up at.

"He's still at home drowning his hair in all those stupid hair products." Iwaizumi sighed once more, dragging a hand through his hair. "Says he can't wear a hat or else it would mess up his hair, but I made the stupid mistake of saying the snow would mess it up anyways, so now he's home being a fucking idiot."

"Ah, Oikawa, forever the queen of drama." Hanamaki said, daintily placing his hand on his chest, as Matsukawa slung his arm around his shoulders. "Don't you think so, dear?"

Matsukawa nodded solemnly, as he pressed his lips to Hanamaki's cheek in greeting. "I agree, love. He needs to get over himself. We're going inside a café anyways, so the snow doesn't really matter."

Iwaizumi felt a storm begin to brew between the two of them, and not one he cared to focus on. But they were persistent, almost disgustingly so, and he found himself wishing for Oikawa's company, if just to escape the onslaught of pet names his two friends threw at each other.

"Baby."

"Honeybee."

"Sugarspice."

"Love of my life."

"The reason I awaken every morning."

"Everyth–"

A familiar voice pierced the air, and Iwaizumi couldn't have been happier for the distraction, because he had been that close to hitting those two on the head.

"Eww! Really, Makki? Mattsun? I was gonna keep quiet and surprise you all, but you guys are being nasty." Oikawa flung his arms around Iwaizumi's shoulders, pushing his cheek into his, laughing as Iwaizumi turned to kiss him.

"Nasty? Oh, Oikawa, you haven't seen nasty until-" Hanamaki was shut down immediately, his mouth having been covered by Iwaizumi himself, who had successfully detached his boyfriend from him and was now holding his hand.

"Oh, shut it, Hanamaki. We're in public. Plus we don't want to hear about whatever shit you two get up to when you're left alone." Matsukawa laughed as his words, following after the two of them into the café, but not before Hanamaki pulled him back for a quick kiss.

* * *

"Oikawa, if you keep staring at yourself like that, you're going to turn into a demon with how much ego you're shoving into your phone." Matsukawa drawled, chin resting on his hand as he watched Oikawa stare into his phone camera for the millionth time since entering the café.

"Yeah, I don't wanna have to break it to the team that our dear captain turned into a demon 'cause he was too worried about his self-image." Hanamaki added, messing with the sugar packets on their shared table by piling them up.

Iwaizumi sighs at the two of them, before plucking Oikawa's phone out of his hand and filing it away into his jacket pocket. "I'm not telling them, either."

Oikawa huffed, making grabby hands for his phone. "I'm not going to become a demon! You guys are so rude!"

Iwaizumi ends up shoving his shoulder against Oikawa's, and he's shoving back, and they end up having some kind of weird competition over who will topple over first, bickering quietly.

"Iwa- _chan_ , give me back my phone!"

"No, dumbass, I'm not giving it back. You don't need it."

"I'll die without it!"

"No you won't."

"It'll die without me, then!"

"Can I take its place, then?"

"Wh– No! Iwa-chan, you can't die either!"

"Huh? Says who? All I'm hearing is the lord of the demons."

"I~wa~cha~n~!"

"What."

"Give it!"

The entire time this has been going on, Hanamaki and Matsukawa were following their friend's actions, heads turning back and forth as they started using their hands to grab each other's faces, and shove each other some more.

"You know–" Matsukawa started, only half listening to their squabble. "Someone's gonna get hurt if you guys keep it up."

Hanamaki waves his hand in dismissal. "Let them. Nothing they can't handle."

They tuned into their words when it seemed like something important was happening.

"–don't even need it anyways, what else do you need when we're here, dummy? We'd tell you if you looked bad. Genuinely or jokingly."

Oikawa stopped pushing against Iwaizumi, eyes blown wide in surprise. The shorter teen muttered the next part, but the whole group heard it, in his gruff, yet endearingly abashed voice.

"You _always_ look good to me, so shouldn't that be good enough?"

The silence that coveted the entire table was embraced warmly by all, as they had gotten quite loud during their stay. But that quiet only lasted for a little while longer, erupting into a barely contained chaos initiated by Oikawa's happy squealing.

His arms were wrapped around Iwaizumi, and his face was pressed into his neck as he laughed. "Iwa-chan! No, _Hajime_! You're so sweet, aw! _So_ cute!"

The way Iwaizumi tried pushing him back was pretty cute though, if the two snickering audience members that were their friends had to say anything about it. "Shut the fuck up. I'm never saying anything like that again, if you keep being annoying."

"Hajimeeee!" Oikawa's pleading would probably be the death of him, if he had to guess.

"Tooru, I swear to _god_." And Iwaizumi not having a good comeback was a good enough reason to finally cut in, Hanamaki decided.

"You guys are disgusting. PDA alert, PDA alert!"

"I'd hate to ruin what seems like such a touching moment between you two lovebirds, but our food should be ready now and they've been calling your order for a few minutes now." Matsukawa said, enjoying the way Oikawa and Iwaizumi stared at each other, before separating with a huff, both for different reasons.

"Go, Iwa-chan, our food's waiting." Oikawa should know better than prod him like that, but it looked like he just wanted a chance to see if he could keep sitting down.

" _You're_ going," stated Iwaizumi, crossing his arms with a glare of finality. It was almost funny how quickly the other boy gave up.

"Fine, I am, I am! No need to be so pushy, Hajime," said Oikawa, sticking his tongue out as he stood up and stretched. Waving a farewell, despite the fact that he'd be returning soon, the setter made his way over to the counter.

"Man, and you guys call us bad." Iwaizumi turned to Hanamaki, who was leaning against Matsukawa with a sleepy look, probably the effect of having his hair be played with by his own boyfriend.

"You two _are_ bad. Just as, if not more than, me and Oikawa. Case in point," he gestured to the way Hanamaki's arms hung around his boyfriend's waist, practically laying on him. "You guys have no shame. In a café, no less." He should have expected the response he received from his two younger teammates.

"Hear that, darling? We've no shame!" Hanamaki began, laying the back of his hand against his forehead as he leaned further into the other.

"Oh no, babe, what'll we do? We got called out by Iwaizumi himself, I don't want to go to court for such an accusatory claim!" Matsukawa joined in, leaning down to hug his head with a solemn look on his face.

"You guys are so stupid." Iwaizumi only put in, sinking into his seat as he pulled out Oikaws's phone, clicking it on and off in boredom.

"You're just jealous 'cause Oikawa's taking his sweet ass time getting our food, and you're hungry. Don't you know that saying, you're not you when you're hungry?" Iwaizumi was too busy staring at Oikawa's lockscreen, which happened to be an unflattering picture of him sleeping, to reply in full.

"Probably hungry in both ways, right?"

"Oooh. Yes. Yes, he definitely is."

"Shut up," he muttered, taking apart the picture in his mind, wondering why the hell Oikawa set his lockscreen to this, and when he had even taken it in the first place.

Where was he, anyways?

"Hey guys, hope you didn't miss me too much!"

In lieu of a reply, Iwaizumi only shoved his phone into his face, cheeks reddening.

"Oi, Shittykawa, what's with your stupid lockscreen!"

The way Oikawa smiled at him should've been illegal. Matsukawa and Hanamaki wouldn't have known though, they were still continuing their charades of chaos, and were in their own little world.

For a group like them, it's no surprise they were banned from entering the café for a while afterwards.

**Author's Note:**

> I had lots of fun writing this ;u; They're all so collectively dumb, I adore writing them so much fkdbdjjdjd


End file.
